37. You didn’t know you were a dad

person looking down. You didn't know you were a dad

You didn’t know you fathered this child.

Its great news to hear that you are going to be a Dad but often the biggest surprise if an adult person contacts you and thinks you are their Dad. We do have this situation arise in our work where the birth parent is not known to the child who was adopted. We know – it’s a big surprise and we promise we will not come to you with this as a joke. Please don’t panic, nobody will know about this, but you and we will protect your data. We often manage these types of situations and we have a thoughtful and compassionate team who can see this process through to a conclusion that is satisfactory for you.

Please feel free to speak with our experienced counselling team who will support you through this. We will have thoroughly checked our records to help you see how we have drawn this conclusion and we will share this information with you so that you can come to your own understanding.

We can organize for a DNA test without you having to connect at all with our client and this will be the ultimate information that you need.

You can of course refuse to engage with us in the process and we will respectfully understand your wishes but overall we find that the people we contact prefer the peace of mind of a clear conclusion.

If there is anything else, we can do to help you at this time please let us know but please be assured that whatever the outcome this process is confidential and protected.

It may help that you reassure yourself by checking our identity

  • Please check our credentials so that you can be confident that you are dealing with an Ofsted registered organisation who comply to a set of minimum standards in Adoption Intermediary work set by the government. Please go to https://reports.ofsted.gov.uk and put in our unique reference which is 2617067 Joanna North Adoption. This should confirm that we are a genuine intermediary agency with proven skills at tracing and genealogy.

If you are an adopted parent thinking about helping your adopted child/adult with a search for a birth parent that is not currently in progress, do e mail us and we will be able to give you lots of information about our work.

Dr. Joanna North

Consultant Psychotherapist (adoption)

September 2024.

Joanna North Adoption (Ofsted registered)

person looking down. You didn't know you were a dad