The Adoption WTF BLOG…

The Adoption WTF BLOG…

In our Adults Affected by Adoption Listening group we talk about anything and everything that is adoption related.  Of course including identity.  Here one of our treasured members is starting her blog journey by focussing on her identity.  I am pretty sure a lot of readers will identify with this so we have to thank her for sharing her journey.  The picture is by her friend Jez – which is worth a thousand words. 

Well Hello, Hi and welcome to the Adopted WTF Blog… before you leave because of the profanities wtf actually stands for With The ‘Fro!

I invite you to get to know me and read and share in my story about growing up in a transracial adoption. I’ll be honest I haven’t a clue what I’m about to share. All I do know is that its raw and will be my own thoughts and feelings from my perspective which I’m happy to share with those that choose the read.

I was told off for talking (I think it was the 4th day of high school by an art teacher covering our class not the legend that was Mr W (Hey sir if you’re reading).   All I had done was smile at a lad on the other side of the room. I remember thinking wowsers my face has a voice!  The realisation that my voice is heard, even when I’m not speaking was a pure gift.  Imagine the engagement I could create if I did share my feelings and utterly crazy thoughts… Maybe you’ve had them too but, if we don’t speak up, we all just walk about thinking we’re nuts! So at the ripe old age of 21×2, here I am. I’m not convinced I’m totally ready but, I came up with the name WTF in a meditation and it occurred to me I have to do something with it.

Last year on Easter Sunday I had the worst mishap (note to self don’t go in the garden in your best silky pjs with bunny ears hiding eggs and think to move a huge bucket of dog poop that’s now been rained on, knowing full well the handle is dodgy). Fast forward then  to me crying and walking through the house covered from head to toe.  “I wanna die” I thought but stick with me as I can assure you it’s just the first of many stupid and utterly ridiculous situations mentioned, which led me to the path I needed to be on.  This one led me to my natural hair journey.   My crazy Fro is back: me/my roots, loving them, embracing them and feeling happy to just be me, which is exactly whom I’m supposed to be.

I was bullied when I was young for my hair, called names and even the odd monkey noise was thrown into the mix.. wow! As a result, I became ashamed of my hair.  Why?  It’s just hair! Why was mine so round and odd! As I’m writing this my eyes are full of tears and I do carry sadness for the small child I was. If I am honest, thinking back I wonder did I hate my hair or was it peoples’ reactions to it?!? My hair isn’t who I am but it’s a huge part of my identity and heritage. Now that it’s back, I couldn’t feel more like myself.  I feel like I’m at home and whole and it’s weird. I’m happy I get to show up though, for the small Afro haired kid who used to blow candles out on her birthday wishing for hair that blew in the wind. My primary school was literally a 10 minute walk if that from the swimming baths. On Fridays we would walk two by two. Me and my bestie hand in hand walking along, and all her blonde pig tailed locks blowing in the wind. What a crazy thing to envy but It’s a true story.

My daughter has the most amazing mane of ringlets waves and cascading curls in every which direction. Everyone comments on her hair and she loves it. I’ve made sure she knows she has hair of magic, after all not everyone is lucky enough to have hair that grows towards the sun.

I’m praying this new adventure in my life leads me to ask questions and seek answers to those difficult questions of myself and others that surround us all.  Who am I really? These are after all the ways we grow and learn.

I want to thank my gorgeous parents who adopted me for a life that was beautifully blessed.  They have passed over now.   I’d also like to thank my gorgeous kiddo, my niece and my amazing friends who are my family, especially the new adopted adults I’ve met along the way who I call my trauma tribe (joke).  And I have to thank my birth mom for courageously going on her search & finding me. I would never have got to this point without her doing this. Lastly I thank myself for finally backing me and pushing myself into unknown. My eyes have been blown wide open to what Adoption had actually delivered into my world and how I’ve navigated the course of my life thus far.    I’m finally processing the experience of how I actually felt about being an adopted child. 

There’s so much to unpack and I hope you stay around for the ride!

Lots of Love 

Adopted With The ‘Fro

Picture by Jez